Joe GreatheadWrap it up
I don’t want to hate reading
You
Books are testament to my
Slowly dwindling
Attention span
But please get
To
The
Point
It’s not
Your fault
Dear author
My dopamine
Is
Smithereens
Thanks to
Monkey vids
On multiple
Screens
You’ll need
Something special
To assuage
The necessarily
ADHD reader
In this
Day and
Age
Simply refuses to edge their lawn.
I’ve raised the matter with them thrice already this month;
It’s an eyesore, if I’m being honest.
(Which I always try to be.)
What kind of person mows their lawn,
I mean – what kind of person
Goes to the trouble of mowing all their grass,
But doesn’t give it a nice edging?
I’ve half a mind to post in the neighbourhood Facebook group.
That should embarrass them.
What will I find inside the fridge
A bit of food? Just a smidge?
I’m positive I’m almost starving
My stomach sits there cruelly laughing
But once I’m there I’m struck with wonder –
Hunger has been cast asunder.
Perhaps I only came this night
To worship at its’ thrumming light
I only ate within the hour
Such are fridges’ awesome power
A catch-all existential quest
To stop the dread inside my chest
A hopeful source of some elation
Food puts dread on swift probation
The fridge for most, is this location.
It’s either that, or masturbation.
A Dog
Outsource your happiness to a dog
When you can.
Humans aren’t particularly good at happiness
But dogs are.
They’ve mastered it, so take note.
Throw a ball, or catch one
Sniff a butt or two
Lift your leg every once in a while
And show em’ what you’ve got.
We don’t know why dogs are so happy
But a dog can suck it’s own cock,
Maybe that has something
To do with it?
(a poem told from the perspective of my dog, Rudy)
Dem Boids is a skritchin’
I know dey is out dere
I heard dem outside, just den.
I’ll just pop out dis mornin
To gives thems’ a barking
Dat cat from next door,
I seen him dere, too.
I’ll keep barking at boids
Til you get up and feed me
And den, just a little bit
After as well.
Joe Greathead 