Joe GreatheadWrap it up
I don’t want to hate reading
You
Books are testament to my
Slowly dwindling
Attention span
But please get
To
The
Point
It’s not
Your fault
Dear author
My dopamine
Is
Smithereens
Thanks to
Monkey vids
On multiple
Screens
You’ll need
Something special
To assuage
The necessarily
ADHD reader
In this
Day and
Age
Daddy’s into conspiracies now
He stays up at Clareville
When we’re having a row
There was money around
But it’s all gone now
There’s a house up on Telegraph Street
With a dozy old boar
And it smells of old feet
And brave Grandpa Jim
Flew alone in a tin
(But I never knew him)
Monday morning
Drones are yawning
Managerial emails fawning
Executive function slowly dawning
The weekend we are freshly mourning
A birthday card for you to sign?
That guy you haven’t met yet? Fine
A shouty tome from tech support
Please do refer to this report
And try to write a quick retort
From your plastic business fort.
Big night buddy? I ask
As you sit there softly
Vomiting into your Breton
Sweater.
Happy Sunday mate – you look like
You could use a coffee.
You’ve done all your flourishing
You’ve been a social butterfly
But now your wings are clipped.
Build yourself a cocoon of
Powerade and doonas.
Sleep away the embarrassment;
Your hangover your only reward.
Go on, brave warrior
You’ve earned
Your rest.
Don’t be jealous of the gad-about
He thinks he’s largely fine without
A grounding force, a nest to lie
From honest love he’ll always fly
But fun it is til time approaches
The listless cunning grey encroaches
Suddenly there’s no-one left
He’s got free time, but love bereft
He wonders where his love will be
The years and months to pass
Discovering that time itself
Dies off like brittle bark
Don’t be afraid of being ordinary
With an ordinary life, you get:
Two legs for running,
Two arms for climbing.
Two eyes for winking.
You get food
You get dogs
And movies.
You get a new pair of shoes
When you can afford it –
You get to work (and get paid for it).
You get to daydream
And whistle
So don’t be silly.
Enjoy your extraordinary,
Ordinary life.
Why did we watch that show so fast?
The characters were all top-class!
The characters are now my friends,
I hate it when a series ends.
I didn’t like it at the start;
It slowly won my fickle heart.
It took three eps to get into it;
We took a break but got back to it.
Now it’s gone, we’ve watched it all!
It went so quick, and now I’m bored.
How will I find another show,
As good as this? I’ll never know.
This happiness I took for granted;
This TV show had me enchanted.
There’ll never be a show like that;
If there is, I’ll eat my hat!
The comedy was just sublime,
I s’pose we could check Am’zon Prime?
(we prob’ly could check Am’zon Prime).
I wish we could go back in time.
If I could send a letter through,
To Netflix and the people who
Decide how long their shows should be:
If you make two – why not make three?
If you make eight, why not make ten?
I hate it when a series ends.
I’ll never learn to laugh again,
There’s nothing left to watch again.
Oh wait…I think I know that guy!
He’s in that show we like, oh my!
I think we should give this a run,
It’s HBO I think – oh, hun…
The death of fun was premature,
The preview doth have some allure,
Some snacks we may as well procure;
(I think the guy’s a known auteur).
I think I’ll learn to live again
This show with Jav-i-er Bardem
There’s new TV to watch, again
(Until it bloody ends again).
A great story makes it all worthwhile.
The pain, the torture of the everyday;
The tunnel through the darkness life can often be.
A story that strikes true;
A tale that lifts the spirit.
The power of story is so great,
It can elevate the consciousness
To the point where you start to consider
That even if this is all there is,
If there’s nothing more to it than what we do
From day to day. Nothing more than
The story we write about ourselves;
No matter how few the pages;
Maybe that’s all we ever needed.
Simply refuses to edge their lawn.
I’ve raised the matter with them thrice already this month;
It’s an eyesore, if I’m being honest.
(Which I always try to be.)
What kind of person mows their lawn,
I mean – what kind of person
Goes to the trouble of mowing all their grass,
But doesn’t give it a nice edging?
I’ve half a mind to post in the neighbourhood Facebook group.
That should embarrass them.
(inspired by the Larsen cartoon above)
As soon as they leave for work in the morning
I’m up with a start and jump over the awning
All the way into the kitchen to see
Lo and behold: the coffee machine is free!
I chew off my collar in anticipation
The first sip imbues me with swiftest elation
If my owners could know of my worsening fixation
They’d visit the shelter and make a donation
4 straight espresso’s or I simply can’t function
I’ve learned various methods to increase production
I add coffee bean powder to my kibble at night
When supply’s running low it will give me a fright
But I never let supply ever, ever run out
When it’s looking precarious, I give you a shout
See that invoice for last months’ arabica beans?
Placed just in view, with a pawprint unseen
When I smell that coffee whiff, first in the mor’
My art’ries constrict and my heart starts to soar
That gorgeous brown liquid from grinding to pour:
It’s that sweet coffee taste that I love and adore.
Joe Greathead 